Children have different characters, needs, and stages of development, so a parent’s relationship with each one may be different. The important thing is that such feelings do not become uneven treatment
A sincere parent’s question has prompted serious internet debate. He acknowledged that he loves all his children in the same way, but he does not have the same affection for all of them. It was that sincerity that caused many other parents to share their experiences and to admit that they have felt something similar at different times.
Love of children is not the same as the satisfaction we experience in their association
The parent who started the debate showed that he had grown up in a relatively large family and had always believed that parents loved all children the same. Only after becoming a parent did he realize that this was perhaps true.
But he realized something else: You can love all your children equally, without necessarily having the same closeness as any of them.
A child may look very much like a parent in traits that he values even in himself. Another may remind him of traits that the parent himself dislikes. There are also children who, because of their temperament, development, or certain behaviors, require much more patience and energy.
The author of the post described one child as emotionally demanding, while for another he said that he is often lying, is in trouble, and conflicts with his siblings.
Yet, he insisted that he loves all alike. The challenge, he says, is that he does not feel good about everyone’s company.
Being a good parent does not mean enjoying every moment
That was the feeling that had caused him earlier. In time, he concluded that a parent should not necessarily be a child’s best friend.
His role is to love, educate, and prepare him for an independent life. This means that a parent may not be satisfied with any behavior or with any phase that a child goes through without loving him less.
Many commentators also agreed. Some said that they love all their children the same way but that each of them can get out of patience in different ways.
Others indicated that the child who seems to be dear to them that day may change from day to day, even from hour to hour.
Age and stages of development change relationship
Age also plays a big role. It is not always easy to enjoy the company of a child who is going through a challenging period, whether small or small, in the stages of emotional outbursts, or teenagers who are demanding more independence and who are more frequently opposed.
This does not mean that love is less. It can only mean that the relationship at that time requires more effort.
But there is a very important limit
Many parents who understood the author of the post, however, stressed one thing: Children can feel it when one of them is preferred, appreciated, or treated better.
One commentator warned that a parent should make sure that his feelings do not turn into obvious behavior toward his children. Others remembered how painful it can be to grow up with the conviction that your parent’s favorite brother or brother is your favorite.
Some people also shared personal experiences, saying that he had felt that his mother or father loved them from childhood because they were their children, but he did not necessarily like them.
Love may be the same, but a different relationship
The author of the text, the mother of five, gave a different view: It did not mean that you love your children equally, but that you love them in different ways, because everyone is a person.
Sometimes the problem lies, not in the child himself, but in real behavior or the phase he is going through.
The parent can say to the child: I’ll always love you, but I don’t like what you’re doing right now. )
This is an important distinction: It is possible to love your child unconditionally and not to approve of his behavior.
Parenting Requires Consciousness and Equality
In the end, parenting remains an ongoing process of reflection. Children have different characters, needs, and stages, and relationships can be different.
Most important, the parent is aware of his own feelings and does not allow them to become uneven treatment.
You can love your children the same way, even when each one of them makes a completely different connection. /Telegraphy/